What to do when things go wrong

We've all been there... 

Had the conversation that shouldn't have come out the way it did, had the look on our face no-one else should have seen (and definitely not our ex or his/her best friend or our kids)...

But it has.

And now we are stuck with the fall out - and how to contain it.  The fall out is a mixture of our own feelings- guilt, stupidity, blame, relief (we really did want them to know, didn't we?) and remorse, and an awareness that we have to DO SOMETHING.  

We have to move forward and we know the next conversations are critical, difficult and the last thing we want to do or think about, but knowing the best thing to do and doing it are different things...   

So, how do we manage?  The quickest way is to hide - to pretend that it didn't happen and that maybe they didn't notice.  Sometimes this works, but is probably better to acknowledge the proverbial elephant in the room and talk about it.  

Some quick steps and ideas to help:

• Notice how you feel, what we did and if possible, understand what led up to this.
  
• Accept that what you did and how you feel is OK.  It is in the past so you can't change it anyway.
  
• Decide where you want to go with this - what is important to you, and to the other key people involved.
  
• Consider what we could and "should" do - how does that sit for you and for others?
  
• What are the costs and consequences of each option you have considered?
  
• Which option is the best for your most desirable results?
  
• How can you make it happen - what do you need to do, who do you need to talk to?  Do you need to rehearse your speech, get some alternative ideas and if so, from whom?
  
• What is the best timing for you and others to achieve your goals?
  

Then - Do It!